


Sheer Nuisance

by Vanzgogh



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Biting, Bloodplay, Breathplay, Demonstuck, Family Issues, Imprinting, M/M, Marking, dirkjohn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27411397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanzgogh/pseuds/Vanzgogh
Summary: Your name is John Egbert. You've been in the hunting business for 10 years or so, that's a lot of experience right? So why on god’s green one did you let yourself get the hots for a blonde demon with an awful attitude? Who knows, but you’re in this mess now might as well enjoy it while you can.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40
Collections: DirkJohn Big Bang 2020





	1. chapter 1

John parked his car in front of the shabby little motel that he would be living in for the next week or so. A look of distaste graced his features as he surveyed the area in front of him. The building had mysterious stains on the concrete, chunks of cement missing from the walls, dirty windows, you name it. It was a perfect little place to lay low or get your grabbers on a fix, John would be doing the former. Grumbling, the man meandered his way into the front office of the little establishment. Once inside his eyes landed on a grubby looking man who didn't seem to notice him or just didn't care. John cleared his throat to get the man's attention

"Have you got a reservation for John Egbert? I called yesterday to book a room for a week."

The man sized John up before giving a single nod, throwing a key to him before turning around and disappearing into the back of the room. John scoffed, such great hospitality. What could he ask from a seedy little number like this though? He'd seen a lot of places like this on the job and they never got any better. He left the office, walking down the pavement to the fifth door. It creaked open to reveal a shabby little room, your usual dark and dank highway stop. 

John gagged at the stale air of the room before walking further in. He did his rounds checking for bed bugs, blood stains, and other nasty remnants left from previous tenants. Deeming everything suitable, John threw himself onto his bed with the case files in hand. Opening them up his eyes landed on the picture inside, the blonde monstrosity mocking him. The creature called himself Dirk, He was infamous in the company, Every hunter that John’s father sent out was either completely blindsided by the demon or killed within a 5 foot radius. John was a last resort of course, his father didn’t want him anywhere near Dirk. He was dangerous, everyone knew that. But he was more insufferable than dangerous in John's opinion, a pompous prick with superiority complex was a common description given by the hunters that managed to survive meeting him. 

John threw the files to the side with a huff. He understood that this was his job, he completely understood that. But he was born into it, he would have certainly chosen something else if he had the choice. He swung his legs around to the edge of the bed planting his feet to the ground, he figured the sooner he got this done the better. John’s car gurgled to stop outside the old warehouse, he glared at the building absolutely dreading meeting the one that was residing inside. John opened the door rounding the car to the trunk. Pulling tools from the car He stalked around the back of the building.

The place was desolate, a perfect place for a slimy creature like Dirk to hideout. The back entrance was fairly easy to get into, the rusted hinges pulling apart when John gave one good yank. He winced as the loud noise echoed throughout the building, so much for the element of surprise. He took his first step into the main room, maneuvering the debris that littered the floor. The further he got in the more suffocated he started to feel. The air was thick and sickly sweet all of the sudden, seeping in through his nose making him feel as if he were floating. John quickly found a wall to lean up against as his knees started to buckle, his sight swimming in and out of focus. A cruel laugh filled his ears, snapping him from his daze for a slight moment. A chilled hand snaked its way around John’s waist to keep him steady, another wrapped harshly around his chin whipping his head so that his eyes met a fiery orange. John’s eyes widened as he realized who stood in front of him. The demon’s lips curled up into a cruel smirk. 

“You know... it’s not safe to come without a partner for these kinds of things…” Dirk’s clawed fingers gripped tighter around John’s face, breaking the skin “I thought someone as renowned as your darling daddy would know something like that.” John’s blood ran cold as he stared at the man, he was so close that he could feel his breath fanning over his face. John’s back suddenly hit the ground, the air getting knocked out of his lungs. Dirk snarled over him, His hands pressing into his shoulders with bruising force. “I would have thought you would be stronger given your profession…” The blonde said with a smirk. John’s body betrayed him as he started to lean towards the man. “It’s almost pathetic darlin.” John’s last thread of self control snapped in two as the heavy accented taunt hit his ears. John closed the distance between him and the demon, wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him closer.

The blonde let out a deep chuckle against the brunette's lips. Dirk sat up with John in his arms, pulling him into his lap. As the pair broke apart John's head was completely empty except for Dirk. Every detail seemingly etched into his brain, even though this was the first time he had actually met him. He heard every wrong doing that this dastardly monster had done, but the longer he sat here with him… the more the tales he had heard seemed to slip away from him. Grasping at threads, to find something, anything to convince himself to push himself away from the man that held him tenderly. Dirk flashed his sharp teeth in a smile, recognition washing over his face and a fuzzy feeling thrummed through his damned heart. Dirk buried his head into the crook of John’s neck, ghosting his teeth along the soft skin that he found there. John let out a sharp exhale as sharp teeth pierced his throat, pain seared in his skin only for a split second before a tingly sensation flowed throughout his body.

He was practically numbed with a sickly sweet sort of pleasure, thoughts of Dirk once again the only thing his mind would entertain. Dirk raised his head from John’s sensitive skin, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. His hand once again made its way to John’s face, sliding his hand around his chin much gentler than before. John’s only focus was him, something was so entrancing about him, he couldn’t explain what he felt… he couldn’t explain what Dirk had done to him. But at that point he didn’t care, he just wanted to be held by him. Completely absorbed by him. Dirk pulled John’s face to his own, connecting them once more. A sense of urgency surfaced between the two, hands touched every surface they could find. Gripping, pulling, wanting. Wanting more and all of what the other had to offer. Dirk pulled John impossibly close to him, hands making their way to his back after shimmying his jacket off of him. Dirk sharp nails ripped through the fabric of John’s shirt, pulling it completely from him. John made no protest…

The heat under his skin was so immobilizing that he accepted the breeze on his skin with a shudder of relief. Dirk started leaving marks at the base of his throat, right below the bite he had inflicted earlier. John’s skin was painted with sinful burgundies and purples, crimson flowing in wake of the harsher affections peppered across his skin. Feverish gasps left his mouth as Dirk continued his lust filled assault across his skin. He knew this was wrong, he knew that something wasn’t adding up. But John couldn’t find in himself to be ashamed of what he was doing, of his own body's reactions. All that he could think… that he could FEEL was complete adoration and infatuation with this blonde spectacle that invaded every nook and cranny of his brain. The claws that had found themselves in John's skin burrowed deeper, eliciting a surprised noise from him. John practically drooled at every sensation, every little nick on his skin setting ablaze in the most sinful but perfect way. One of Dirk’s hands retreated from his back, ghosting it’s way to John's throat before tightening in an iron grip. The fuzziness in John somehow grew, his vision growing dark around the edges. It was almost as if he were lost in a tunnel, his remaining vision laser focused onto Dirk in front of him. He had quickly become his life line, he was in control of everything John was at this very moment. He could do nothing but let himself fall victim to this scoundrel’s wishes. He was helpless against him, but as much as he hated to admit it to himself…

John couldn’t find it in himself to mind at all. Not even when his eyes started to flutter from his light headedness. The hand around his neck loosed letting a rush of oxygen back into John's battered and lust riddled brain, John whined pitifully from the loss of contact. His mourning was short lived as John felt the claws delve back into his eager skin, his back and chest now slick with the gush of blood that seeped from the loving gashes. A deep hum sounded from the throat of his passionate assailant, his deft fingers scooping some of the crimson liquid into his mouth. Fiery orange met a hazy blue as the two stared longingly at one another, they both knew what they wanted.

Whether this was going to be just physical or emotional they had no idea, but they both knew that they were in this situation whether they liked it or not.

And just Maybe one knew this better than the other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The formatting on this is a little weird because I'm having to update on mobile, sorry about that :')

John didn’t know how he ended up back at the motel. His back and chest bandaged, in nothing but his boxers. Everything was a blur… he felt like he was missing something, no someone. That bastard filled his mind in such a… domestic way.  
John felt sick to his stomach, this wasn’t supposed to happen. John was sent to kill him! Not let him rock his world and get attached to him with some weird horny demon mumbo jumbo. John turned his face and buried it into the pillow, screaming like a whiny teenage girl in some chick flick.  
“Am i interrupting something, drama queen?” a southern twanged voice teased from behind. John slowly turned himself around to look towards the intruding voice. There in all his glory stood the being of darkness himself, a cheshire grin stretched across his snarky face.  
“What the hell are you doing here?? What did you do to me?” John snarled at the demon as strode to the side of the bed that John was laying on. “I got you a coffee, jackass, you could be nicer to me ya know? I didn’t choose to be bonded to some short stack with daddy issues.” the blonde teased back, thrusting the drink at John. His brow furrowed as he took the drink from him.  
“I’m a delight, you should be grateful you prick.” he mumbled into his cup. Dirk let out a deep chuckle, his eyes flickering up and down John. “You sure were a delight, darlin” John choked on his drink as blood rushed to his face. He raised his free hand to point childishly at Dirk. “FIRST OF ALL-” John’s flustered defense was cut short by the soft lips that smashed into his.  
John scrambled to put down his cup before throwing his arms around dirk's neck like he did the night before. Their teeth gnashed together as the kiss grew more heated, a war waged between the two men. John’s nose was filled with a Smokey smell, obviously coming from Dirk. He smelled like embers of a dying fire, a leather smell mixed into it as well. He smelled like… home.  
John struggled less against Dirk, pressing into him more passionately than aggressively. Dirk noticed the change in pace, a breathy laugh slipping from his damned lips. “So eager so quick… how sweet.” Dirk’s velvety smooth voice seeped it’s way into John’s chest, setting off a domino effect of fluttery feelings that ripped whines from his mouth. Dirk pulls his lips from John before looking him in the eyes, the bright orange to a smoldering red…. His pupils are thin and cat-like… predatory.  
Dirk rakes his claws across the others chest, burying them into his rounded hips. “Every part of you john… every part of you seems like it was crafted by an angel…” dirk’s eyes flicker with an amused glint “Trust me, i should know.” John’s eyes involuntarily rolled. “Oh wow” John said in a disbelieving tone.  
Dirk smiled softly up at the man before sliding himself down the other’s body until his face was level with John’s boxers. Dirk’s eyes flickered from the strained fabric back to john’s eyes, a hungry look on his face all the while. The glance was a plea, Dirk wanted nothing more than to take everything John had to offer. John’s head moved slightly, Dirk would have missed it if he wasn’t watching him like a hawk. A smirk played onto Dirk’s lips as he slowly hooked his sharp nails into the waistband of the underwear. The demon was practically drooling in anticipation of having this absolute piece of perfection writhing under him again so soon.  
“Look at you Dirk… are you sure i’m the one who’s eager?” John teased from above. Dirk’s eyes sharpened, the hooked nails he had in the waistband resorting to ripping then offended garment to shreds instead. Dirk hummed in approval as he gave John a once over, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips. Dirk leaned forward, finally giving John the mercy of his tongue. Plush lips wrapped gingerly around him, a deep rumble ripped out John as he felt the wet heat of Dirk’s mouth encase him. He was attentive to every ridge and bump John had to offer.  
Bliss sunk it’s depraved claws into every inch of John's being, his back arching as he felt himself slip down Dirk’s throat. His nose brushed against the hairs on John’s pelvis, his eyes flickering up to take in John’s expression. His blue eyes were almost black with how much his pupils were expanded, a red hue flowing from his cheeks and down his neck.  
The masterpiece that Dirk had left behind on his neck stood proudly out. Seeing it evoked a sense of pride from the demon, he had done to him… the one person that was off limits was in his grasp and down his throat. Dirk pulled off with a pop, a mischievous smile making its way onto his mouth. “What are you doin-” John was cut off by John straddling his hips with his own.  
His eyes widened as he realised what was going on “Oh…” John whispered as he watched dirk line himself with him. His eyes flickered to John’s for approval, who just dumbly nodded in response not trusting his voice. John’s eyes rolled in the back of his head as Dirk lowered himself onto him, letting his head loll back. Dirk’s predatory eyes stayed locked onto him… he was drowning in every noise that fell from John’s precious mouth. Every little whimper and grunt urging him to start a steady pace. John’s bronze skin shimmered in the throws of their lust filled endeavours, the sweat beaded on his skin making Dirk’s mouth water.  
The whine of his name caught Dirk’s attention, pulling his eyes up to John's and away from his chest. John didn’t have to say anything to get his point across, the pure submission in his eyes and his hand pulling at Dirk’s arm was enough. He followed the hand that was pulling at him, his teeth colliding with the skin that he found so tantalizing. John took a sharp inhale of breath, his hands scrambling to Dirk hips to guide him into a faster pace.  
Hues of red flowed from John's sensitive neck into Dirk's mouth as he lapped at the wound his canines had caused, groaning as the taste filled every sense he had. Dirk arms flung around John’s neck to brace himself, the pace they set doubling.   
John could feel everything… everything was so much. He could feel every puff of air that came from Dirk on the side of his face and his neck. The moist air ghosted over the mark on his throat sending a shiver down his spine. One of John’s arm’s lifted, bringing his hand to the back of Dirk’s head hooking his hand on the bend of Dirk’s horn. Dirk gasped as his head was pulled back, his eyes meeting with John’s eyes once again. The smile that fell on John’s lips was mischievous, before Dirk knew it he was on his back with John hovering over him. “What the hell do you think your-” Dirk was cut off by his own moan that ripped ferociously out of his chest. 

John set a bruising pace, tearing through the demon below him. Both of his hands making their way to Dirk's horns, pulling them back until his back was arched. The new leverage gave a delicious friction, causing Dirk Let out a pitiful whine as his back arched impossibly. He painted both of their chests with his release.  
No sound reached him, his vision was nothing but white… his whole body caved under the waves of pleasure that crashed down on him. He registered the faint guttural groan that rang from John’s mouth that rang out by his ear as a warm sensation filled him to the brim. John stilled above him, fingers loosening on Dirk’s horns. A calm washed over the two… 

their breaths mingling as John pulled his face in front of Dirk’s to look him in the eyes. They were caught in some type of trance as they stared at each other. Dirk swore he could see John’s soul in those sky blue orbs… it was pure but it held a certain sadness in it that Dirk wanted nothing more than to mend. He wanted to kiss away every little doubt, every tear that leaked from those brilliant doe eyes in moments of despair. Never once in his eternal life did he think that he would be bound to someone like John… he may not deserve it, he definitely didn’t deserve it. But that didn’t mean he was going to let this slip away from him. He wasn’t going to let the only light and salvation he had ever been offered in his loathsome existence be ripped away from him so easily. 

Dirk’s hands slid around to cup John’s round cheeks, pulling him forward into a sweet kiss. Far too sweet for the likes of Dirk. John hummed into the kiss, too caught up in the afterglow to realise how loving the moment had turned. A mischievous giggle left Dirk’s lips as his hands drifted from John’s cheeks to his pudgy sides, running his deft fingers against the smooth skin he found there. He jerked away from Dirk with wide eyes, a half startled half nervous laugh spilling out of lips. Dirk’s lips pulled into an ear to ear grin as it all clicked in his brain. John was ticklish. 

Dirk lunged forward into the man, pushing him and attacking his sides with vicious tickles. Wheezy laughs erupted from John's mouth as he struggled against Dirk’s assault. “Dirk- cut it out!” he managed to squeeze out in between laughs.  
The cute buck toothed smile warmed Dirk’s cold heart in a way that he never imagined he would feel. His hands slowed to a stop letting John catch his breath, letting a small smile creep onto his lips. John glared playfully back up at dirk. “You suck, you know that right?” Dirk quirks a brow at John, he could practically see the gears moving in that twisted brain of his. “Correction, I DID suck.” Dirk remarks matter factually with a smug smile gracing his handsome features.  
John groaned in annoyance before pulling Dirk into him, who in turn snuggled into his neck. John let his hand wander to the back of Dirk’s head, resting it there to play with the silky blonde strands that resided there. John’s mind drifted to everything that had happened in such a short time. He couldn’t explain himself really, he didn’t know where to start. He had never felt this completed in his whole life, which was speaking great deals about him seeing as there was a legitimate demon tucked into his side right now.  
But… he couldn’t bring himself to be scared, he couldn’t bring himself to be disgusted either. He just felt love. Pure senseless adoration for this blonde bastard that he cradled into himself. John’s train of thought was derailed by a deep rumble coming from beside him. “Dirk? Are you… purring?” he asked, a laugh slipping into his words. “Shut up” came a slurred and sleepy voice. Dirk buried his head into John’s neck even further, another deep rumble coming from him. John just smiled fondly before letting his eyes drift closed.  
Maybe this job wasn’t so bad after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> art by @orion_night.png on insta! I'm so happy I got to work with you on this, your art turned out stunning!


End file.
